I just want one thing
by victorwebsterx
Summary: Sam's struggling with the deal and he finally breaks.Dean doesn't know what to do.
1. Chapter 1

**All I know is that I had a vision ( not a YED one, thank god.) anyway I just neede to write it so I did. I'm not really good at going into great detail in stories ( Tell you the truth I have trouble getting allthe details from my head to the page if that makes sense. But god bless all of you that do. Because you make truely great stories!) If you've read some of my others I kinda just go basic, I think that's what I would call it. Anyway back to this story I am going to do it in two chapters. So of we go.**

**DSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSD**

**Dean looks at the large wooden building. Letters flashing down the side announcing the name of the only bar in town.Sighing to himself Dean shakes his head an walks over to the main doors. Resting a hand agaisnt the wooden door Dean takes a deep breath and pushes it open. Just as he thought. Bikers in their full leather gear and tattoos. Ignoring the glares from the bikers at the bar Dean heads to the far end and raises a hand to the barman.**

**He simply just says." Dean."**

**The barman picks up one of the small towels from behind the counter and wipes his hands." I called you." He gestures with his head to the far corner of the bar." Managed to get his phone from him. He kept talking about you. So..." The barman shrugs." Doesn't seem like the drinking kind."**

**" No." Dean looks over his shoulder. " He's usually not. Thanks." Dean gives a quick nod before pushing away from the counter. Being careful not to bump into any of the other drinkers, god he really didn't want a fight right now, he made his way over to the farthest table in the room. Taking a look over the table Dean could tell someone was going to have the worst hangover ever. There's an empty bottle of whisky and at least half a dozen empty bottles of beer. " Please don't tell me they're all yours."**

**" Deeeeeean." Sam's head flops back, hitting the wall behind. His eye's are glassy and there is a huge drunken grin spreading across his face. " W'er ave you beeeeeen man?" Sam moves his head slightly from side to side. " Here." He reaches out for the empty bottle of whiskey but it just seems miles away as his hand can't quiet grab it. " You know what?" He pulls a face as his head knocks back onto the wall." Your a big boy, gedid yousel." He nods his head in a ' there you go'.**

**Dean rolls his eye's ' great'. " Lets get you to bed huh?" Taking a breath to stop himself from attacking his brothers sorry ass Dean places one hand under Sam's arm pit and grabs him tightly as he pulls Sam to his feet.**

**Sam blinks then squints his eye's." You know...you know that." Sam's hand slams on the table as he stumbles in Dean's grip. " That is so cool. The chair is magic." He laughs to himself before placing his finger over his lips." Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." His body swaying, trying to gain balance." It's a flying chair. I was...I was." Sam turns his head to Dean smiles." Hey Dean!"**

**Dean turns his face away from his brothers. The amount of alcohol coming out with Sam's breath could strip paint of a thousands houses." Shut up Sam." Dean pulls Sam's arm over his shoulder and reaches the over one around Sam's waist." I swear to god just shut up or i'll..." Dean stops talking when a hand lands on his face. Fingers slowly moving down his face finally stopping at his chin before falling away. " I am so gonna kick the...Sam." Dean pulls his head away as the hand comes close to his face." What the hell?"**

**Sam again places his finger onto his lips." Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." He reaches up and grabs Deans chin, squeezing tightly." You have to be quiet or he will hear you."**

**Dean, with his face still squashed in Sam's hand turns to look at Sam." Who?"**

**Sam removes his hand, placing it curved around his own mouth, like he was making an announcement. He leans into Deans ear." . Dean will. You have to be quiet."**

**Dean pulls Sam closer." Lets get you to bed." Dean nudges Sam's foot to make him start walking." That's it Sammy. One infront of the other." They finally make it to the door, managing not to piss everone off who got hit in the head by Sam's flailing arm.**

**" Are they there?" Sam rolls his head on Dean's shoulder to look up at his older brother." Hey you got tall!" Sam laughs to himself and pulls away from Dean. " Whoa it's dark. When did it get dark?"**

**Dean reaches out to grab Sam but stops when Sam manages to catch himself agaisnt one of the railings." It's flippen 2 o'clock in the morning Sam." Dean pulls Sam to his side and hooks his brothers arm over his shoulder again. " What do you mean are they here yet?"**

**" Huh." Sam lifts up his right foot and pokes a finger inside the top of his boot.**

**Dean rolls his eye's and quickly steadies them." What the fuck are you doing?" He pulls Sam's hand away and pushes his foot down. He sighs as Sam's foot pulls up again and he stars to pull at the lace." Sammy what are you doing?"**

**" Iiiiiiii." Sam slurs and his head wobbles on his neck like a Jack in the Box." I, in there. It's Sam." Sam pulls his finger out and pokes it in Dean's chest." Sam. S...A...uh 1 no 2 no it's...uh Why is my foot here?"**

**" That is what I've been asking." Dean grunts as he drags Sam closer to the motel. Thank god it's only a five minute walk." Why are you drunk anyway?You don't drink Sam."**

**" Welllllllllll." pulling to a stop, Sam's eye's widen." Are you drunk Dean. Cos man that's just so...oh look."**

**" What?" Dean grits his teeth and his own eye's widen as Sam's face comes in close to his." Sam?"**

**Sam giggles, like a goddamn girl. " You have eye's. " Sam smiles and prods his fingers around his own eye's." Hey me too!"**

**" No shit Sherlock." Dean closes his eye's while counting to ten. Taking a deep breath he opens them and is met by Sam's huge grin." How about we be really quiet so Dean doesn't hear us okay?"**

**Sam nods, well , wobbles his head." Sounds like a ..a...a...yep." **

**" Great. Now be very quiet and just walk." Dean smiles to himself, drunk Sam is a following Sam." Be really quiet."**

**It takes them twenty minutes to get back to the motel. Sam stopping every few minutes to pull at his boot.**

**Pushing the motel room door open Dean drags Sam over to the bed at the back of the room and sits him down at the edge. He shakes his head as he watches Sam tilting to the right. He pulls Sam back up and unzips his brothers coat. " Okay Sammy lets get you to bed huh." Dean pulls Sam's arm free and throws the coat on the floor next to the bed." You are guna feel like shit tomorrow. You know that?"**

**Sam reaches out and takes a handfull of Dean's shirt." Why?" Sam smiles as two Deans stare at him." Dean 1 and Dean two or Dean and Deano!" Sam leans forwards and stares wide eye'd. " You look funny."**

**" So do you." Dean pushes Sam back up and reaches down to undo Sam's boots. " Hey!" Dean's head shoots up when Sam starts to pat his head." Listen." Dean forgets the boot and grabs Sam's wrist. " Just sit really still for me okay. Can you do that?"**

**"M'not five Deeeeeean. Anyways why you drunk cos man it's not good ya know. Mem...mem...ber when you...Dean what you doing down there?"**

**Dean just stares at Sam." You talk shit. Man i've seen crazy drunk and angry or weeping drunk but you are a shit drunk."**

**" Thank you." Sam twists his body to the left and places his hands on top of the covers." Wanna get a drink cos...whoa where did the thingy go."**

**Dean pulls at Sam's shirt until he manages to grasp an arm." The bed?"**

**" Yep that's the...Now." Sam pulls out from Dean's grasp and stumbles before slamming back first into the room wall. Acting like nothing happened Sam carries on. " Now what do you wanna do? Cos time...ya know and." He raises a hand, index finger pointing at the watch on the other arm." Oh man I think it's broken. Look." He holds the arm up. "The little hands are going too fast. Round and round and round and round and...Hey Dean."**

**" Sam please just get in the god damn bed. Because I will drag you there myself.!" Deans teeth clench and he pinches the bridge of his nose.**

**Sam shakes his head." Nah. I need to...I need a drink, got any? Why is my boot doing that?" He shakes his leg out and tilts to the right before putting his foot back down." Whoa that,don't do that Dean." Sam laughs again.**

**" For fucks sake Sam!" Dean storms over to Sam and grasps the top of his arms. " I am getting so sick of this." He grabs Sams chin with his thumb and finger and pulls his head up eye level. " What the hell is wrong with you? " Dean bends his head a little to catch Sam's fallen eye's." This is the third town that you've gone and done a runner as soon as i'm asleep. Hey!" Dean tightens his grip as Sam tries to pull away." This isn't you man. I've put up with the silent treatment and the sulking. The not eating and endless hours on the computer. But this Sam, this is not you." Dean shakes Sam's head on the last word.**

**Sam rolls his eye's." What ya gonna do? " Sam's lips curl up at the sides. " Ground me!" He raises his arms in the air." Stop my pocket money or or..." Sam's knees give and he presses his hands against the wall to push himself up." you gonna make a deal?"**

**" Don't Sam." Dean lets go of Sam and turns around taking a few steps." Do not start this up again." He spins on his heels to face Sam." Get to bed. I'm not talking to you while you're like this."**

**Sam shakes his head and closes his eye's. Taking a deep breath Sam pushes himself a step away from the wall. Opening his eye's he stares at Dean." Just like every other fucking day Dean. " He feels the room spin and stumbles back to the wall." Never allowed to talk about it. Cos big brother is always right. Correct Dean? You're going to hell and that's okay."**

**Dean rubs both hands over his face, growling in his throat." Lets get you to bed. Before we both say something that..." **

**" What Dean. That's true. Cos I gotta tell ya man. You don't know how to speak it."**

**" Just go to bed Sam."**

**" No!" Sam raises a hand and points a finger at Dean. " Don't keep doing this. Don't make me start to hate you Dean. Don't make me...make me..."**

**Dean moves over to Sam and pulls his arm." Shut up Sam."**

**Sam pushes Dean away and watches him fall to the floor." Stop telling me to shut up. Do you know how much this is killing me? Do you? I died Dean. I fucking died and because of you i'm alive and you're going to hell. So don't tell me to shut the fuck up. People I love die Dean. Mom's dead, Dad's dead, Jess is Dead, hell Madison is Dead, I was dead and in here, "Sam pats his chest "I still am because my selfish brother is going to leave me alone. " Sam bangs his head against the wall, causing Dean to flinch. " Why does everything have to evolve around losing people I love."**

**Dean looks up at Sam from his position on the floor." Why don't you just lie down and go to sleep. I want to go to sleep." Dean runs a hand over his face, stopping to rub his eye's with the heel of his hand. Looking back at Sam Dean notices the small trail of wet lines running down Sam's cheeks. " Sammy?"**

**" I don't...I just wish that..." Sam lips tremble " Why can't I just keep one thing? That's all I want. One thing." Sam slides down the wall and wraps his arm around his legs as they pull up to his chest." All I want is one thing Dean. One goddamn thing and like everything else it's gonna be taken away." Sam lowers his head onto his knees.**

**Dean swallows the growng lump in his throat. Taking a second to go through what he's just heard Dean looks at Sam curled tight into a ball, crying. " Hey." Dean crawls over and and sits infront of Sam." What's going on in there?" Dean taps Sam's head." Sam?"**

**Sam raises his head, eye's swimming with tears." You know sometimes when we're on a long drive. I look out of the car window at every thing we pass, houses, people." He rubs his cheek on his knee to wipe away some of the tears. " I start to think about the future. Crazy I know." Sam smiles a little." You know what I think about?"**

**Dean licks his lips, placing his hands in his lap. " I could imagine, but no."**

**" I see us Dean. Me sitting beside you in the car listening to you moan about getting grey hair and wrinkles. I see us sitting in a back yard watching our wives talking about their latest girls night out, our kids running around chasing each other. I see you happy." Sam looks at Dean, letting more tears fall." That's what I think about Dean. That's what makes our past worth it. And now I just see me, dead on the inside fighting in a world that I don't really want to be in."**

**Dean lowers his head. Letting a few tears drop onto his closed hands." Sam." He shakes his head.**

**" Please. Just please." Sam scrunches his eye's close." Please I just want to be able to live a life worth living."**

**Dean looks at Sam and he feels like his heart is going to shatter." I'm sorry Sam. I really am sorry. But I had to do it. Your my brother and I couldn't let you die. I couldn't."**

**Sam laughs." Sorry doesn't make it okay Dean." He drops his head onto his knees again. " Sorry doesn't stop me from dying again."**

**Dean stares up at the ceiling. How could he have not noticed how far his brother had fallen. Reaching out Dean pulls Sam forward. One of his hands taking the side of Sam's head and pulling it close to his chest. Dean pulls him in tight and drops his head ontop of Sam's. He pushes his legs out and pulls Sam's in closer, just like he did when they were kids. Rubbing Sam's back and face Dean lets the tears flow. "Oh Sammy."**

**Well I hope you liked it. I tried really hard to put down what I wanted.Thank you for reading my short fic. Please pray that Sam gets Dean out from hell because we need two sexy men on our screen.(Three if John was still alive). again thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I wrote the first chapter and was going to post two. But I think it will probably be more if people want it. I'm trying not to rush through what I want to write and thanks to great writers out there I have been finding great inspiration to help me relay what I want to write. So I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you.**

**Dean parks the Impala infront of the house and presses his hand against the horn once. He keeps one eye looking out the windscreen and another on his brother curled up next to him. Sam's head is turned, leaning on the back of the seat. His legs pulled up on the seat taking up half the room and Dean's jacket covering most of his body. He's asleep. Dean sighs as he remembers last night. Sam wrapped up in his arms on the floor of the motel, crying until the tears dried up and falling limp in his arms. He didn't know what to do, how on earth was he supposed to fix something that he didn't know how to mend. There was no magic superglue that could possibly put his brother back together again. Feeling like he had the world draining him away Dean called Bobby and for once he asked for help. Help he really needed. Help he hoped in all his life that he never wanted to get. Help to repair something, no 'someone', that he had helped to break, destroy. Noticing the front door opening Dean's pulled out of his thoughts and climbs out of the car, leaving his door open, just in case. Of what he didn't know.**

**" Hey Bobby." Dean raises a hand up at the older hunter as he approaches the car. Taking a deep breath and gathering his thoughts Dean looks back in the car. " He's asleep."**

**Bobby ducks his head to look through the windscreen. Giving a small smile and a quick nod of his head Bobby straightens back up and reaches out a hand onto Dean's shoulders." How are you?"**

**" Fine." Dean kneels back onto his seat and places a hand on Sam's shoulder giving him a small shake." Sam." Not getting any response Dean gives a quick glance to Bobby before shaking Sam's shoulder once more." Hey Sammy we're at Bobby's man." Dean smiles as Sam's eye's slightly open. " Lets get you inside okay?"**

**Looking past Dean's shoulder Sam spots Bobby standing just to the side of the car looking back. Slowly blinking Sam returns his eye's back to Dean. " kay."**

**Dean pulls the coat from Sam and helps to lower Sam's legs to the floor. Pulling him up into a sitting position. " Stay there i'll get the door." Dean pushes himself out of the car and runs around to the passenger door, ducking his head as he goes past Bobby. Pulling open the door Dean smiles at Sam. " Come on kiddo." Dean reaches out and places his hand under Sam's arm and helps him to get out of the car. As Sam wavers Dean grabs the belt at the back of his trousers." It's okay." **

**" Lets get you both inside. Got some coffee brewing. Got plenty of milk and sugar for a girly cup." Bobby catches Sam's eye. " How does that sound?"**

**Sam wobbles on his feet and feels Dean grab tighter at his belt. He squints his eye's and looks around the salvage yard. His looks over to just infront of the house. There's an old car there, looks like it had ten rounds with a crusher machine. He remembers another car sitting there once, parts of it missing, his brother lying underneath tinkering, Sam feels himself being moved and his eye's glide up to his brothers.**

**" Come on Sammy. " Dean looks past Sam and shakes his head stopping Bobby as he starts to move closer to help." We're fine." Dean helps Sam walk over and up the porch steps. Talking the whole time about random things. days from when they were little to even some of the crappiest motel rooms they have stayed in. Dean takes them both inside and heads to the stairs.**

**" No." Sam shakes his head and reaches a hand out to brace against the wall." No."**

**Bobby follows in behind, stopping with the door half closed. He watches Sam stopping Dean taking them up the stares. He's heart breaks a little at the sight of Sam. The once towering bright eyed young man was now reduced to a pile of heartbreak and broken pieces. Not physically but mentally. He gives a little cough and waits for Dean to look at him." Couch?" Gesturing with his head to the main room Bobby closes the door and stands waiting.**

**Dean moves Sam's hand from the wall " Okay. This way Sammy." Pulling Sammy closer as he wobbles on his feet Dean swallows the growing lump that has found a place in his throat. He half carries Sam to the couch. Lowering him slowly to the couch Dean bends down to pull Sam's legs up." Get some rest kiddo." Licking his lips to hold back his throat from letting that lump loose Dean takes Sam's head in his hands and lowers it onto one of the cushions. He runs a hand through Sam's hair until his brother's eyes close and his breathing evens out into a steady rhythm.**

**" Lets talk." Bobby glances at Sam before looking back at Dean. He runs a hand across the scruff covering the bottom half of his face." Got something stronger than coffee and I think you need it."**

**Dean watches Sam and rubs the heels of his hands into his eye's. Trying hard to keep the cool liquid from escaping and breaking him. Nodding he moves his hands away and follows Bobby to the kitchen. He takes a seat at the table, his eye's focusing on a dent in the table. He listens to Bobby moving around and startles when a glass covers the small dent." Thanks."**

**Bobby takes his own seat and sips at the small whiskey he has poured. His mouth opens but he closes it a second later, watching Dean was like watching a small boy who lost his puppy,who was about to burst at the seams, but it went beyond that. These boys are like sons to him. They were is family. They are is family and now his family was falling apart. Whatever he could do wasn't going to be enough to make them become the strong Winchester boys he knew. Because their lives were gradually fading away piece by piece and deep down he wishes that he could take away the world that they have and give them one that was safe, secure and loving. " Dean?"**

**Twirling the glass around on the table Dean looks up and takes a moment to focus." Yeah?"**

**" I..." Bobby runs a hand across his face. " You didn't say much on the phone."**

**Dean finally takes a sip of the whiskey, grimacing as it burns his throat. "Uh, I broke him Bobby. "**

**" Dean?"**

**Downing the rest of the whiskey Dean closes his eye's and lets the drink burn his throat a bit more. " Sam he...he started sneaking out and finding the closest bar. He was...knocking drinks back like they were water." Dean sighs. "Just before...before I called you, Sam found another bar and got so smashed the bartender had to call me to get him...didn't even know he'd left. " He looks up at Bobby." Got him back to the motel and he breaks. Bobby I...I need to fix this and I don't know how to." His breath hitches and tears start to trail down his cheek." I don't know what to do. This deal...it's killing him. " Sniffing and wiping his sleeve across his face Dean shakes his head." He said that..."**

**Bobby bites his bottom lip and places his hand over his mouth. Pulling his hand away Bobby nods." He said?"**

**" That even though I brought him back he was still dead inside. That he didn't want to be alive in a world he didn't want to be in." Dean cradles his head in his hands. He leans them down onto the table. Light sobs breaking through the small cracks between the fingers.**

**Bobby's game face crumbles and his heart breaks. Dean breaking down and crying, wasn't on the list for 'Winchester normal' and he was watching happen right in front of him. He was suppose to help them and how in the hell could he do that when there was so much to be fixed. He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly." I'm sorry Dean. So sorry." he reaches across the small table and places his hand ontop of the younger mans head. " I don't know what we're going to do. But I promise you that i'll figure it out." He lowers his hand and cups the side of Deans head, pulling it up to face him." I know that you are both hurting and everything seems to be falling in all the wrong directions. I promise I will try my hardest to help you both. You're my boys." Bobby swallows hard." Go get some sleep. I'll watch Sam. Uh uh." Bobby stops Dean from responding. "He'll sleep for a while."**

**Dean closes his eye's and rests his head against Bobbys hand, trying to drain some kind of hope from it. " Okay."**

**Bobby stands at the bottom of the stairs listening to the foot falls of a destroyed man making his way to the spare room. Bobby hears the bedroom door creak open and heads to the main room. He walks across the room and pulls the armchair over to sit next to the couch.Taking his seat he looks at Sam, who looks so fragile. The normal calm looking young man looked like hell even in his sleep and this time it didn't have anything to do with being injured from a hunt. It was to do with one thing, the damn deal. Bobby jerks awake from his thoughts when a small whimper escapes from Sam.**

**" Sam?" Bobby leans forward, putting his head in Sam's eyesight." Sam?"**

**Sam opens his eye's, recognising Bobby's voice. Not moving, Sam looks around the room. Books, that's his first thoughts, the things he needed but couldn't help but hate them. They were just pages and pages of words that showed no interest in his need to help his brother. They were just there to mock him, ridicule him on how much a failure he was. How much he caused his family to loose. What was it Ruby said about it was all to do with him. That basically everything that had happened in all these years was down to him, one person, him. He looks away from the books and blinks at the older hunter. He blinks again before turning his body over and facing the back of the couch. Bobby didn't need to see a failure, a family destroyer. Why does anybody want to be near him. He was death.**

**Sighing as Sam turns over and away from him, Bobby leans back in his chair and tilts his head up to the ceiling. Looking just past the Devils trap, the damn thing, Bobby closes his eye's and speaks." If you are up there, this person of good." He opens his eye's. " You've done a fucked up job." He reaches out to the side and grabs the first book his hand lands on. Picking it up and looking at the cover he sighs again. ' Demon deals'. He opens the book to the first page and begins to read.**

**Dean kicks the covers from his legs and places his feet on the floor. He takes a quick look at his watch. 10 hours. He's been asleep for 10. Shit. Dean pushes himself up and heads for the door. He stops mid step as the aroma of coffee reaches his nose. Breathing in deep, Dean shakes himself and heads downstairs to find his brother. His other half of his whole. Stepping of the last step Dean takes a step back as Bobby comes out of the main room. " Hey." His voice quiet from sleep.**

**Bobby smiles at him." Hey. Coffee's in the kitchen."**

**" Sam?"**

**" Still on the couch. I don't know if he's asleep or not." Bobby looks over his shoulder at Sam curled tight, still looking at the back of the couch.**

**Dean nods and waits for Bobby to step out of the way so he can go check on his baby brother. When Bobby steps to the side he nods in thanks. He slowly steps into the room. A shiver running through his body, damn place was cold. He stops infront of the couch and looks his brother up and down. A small smile comes to his lips, how on earth did his gigantic brother curl himself up into such a small ball. The smile soon fades when the second of 'happy' was gone and he remembers why there here, why his brothers curled tight into a ball. " Sammy?" He waits for a response. Nothing. Bracing one arm on the back of the couch and leans over to look at Sam's face. He quickly notices Sam's eye's slam shut. " Sam. I know you're awake. You need to drink and have something to eat." With his free hand he pulls back some of the hair covering Sam's face. " Bobby's coffee and breakfast man. What's better than that huh?" His attempt at humour falls on deaf ears. " At least look at me kiddo. Let me know you're still in there."**

**Sam pulls himself tighter and opens his eye's and stares at the floral pattern on the back of the couch. He can feel Dean's eye's staring at him. Waiting for him to be...to be what. He couldn't be anything because he was a nothing, a useless piece of human life. He needs Dean to leave him alone. Why does he want to be here? Why does he taunt him? Sam knows his brothers going to hell. He knows it was his fault. Why couldn't Dean just open his mouth and say the truth. Sam blinks once before looking out the corner of his eye. He watches Dean watching him.**

**" Hey kiddo." Dean voice waves as he holds back the fear, the fear that he's loosing his brother. " You gonna get up?"**

**Sam turns his head, pressing it harder into the cushion underneath it.**

**Dean closes his eye's and resist the urge to scream. What was he going to do? " Okay. You stay there." Dean pushes himself up and turns to face Bobby." Coffee?"**

**Bobby points to the kitchen." Fresh pot."**

**Dean looks down at Sam." If you...if...i'm in the kitchen Sam okay." He walks away and follows Bobby. Accepting a cup of coffee from Bobby Dean takes a sip. " Why did you let me sleep so long?"**

**" If you slept that long it means you need it Dean. Here." Bobby places a plate down on the table. " Eggs?"**

**Dean shakes his head and takes another sip of the hot brew. Looking over the top of the cup Dean smiles at Bobby, who is staring back." Yeah. Eggs sound good."**

**I hope you enjoyed reading this. Please be really sweet like a gummy bear in Jareds mouth( oooooooooooooooh) and leave a review. My bottom lip is pouting ( just to let you know.)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A big thank you to those who reviewed and to those who sent me a PM. I hope you like this next chapter.**

**Sam turns on the couch, listening to the voices coming from the kitchen. How can they just sit around and talk while everythings going wrong. Don't they know what's happening? Don't they understand that Dean's going to hell, forever? Looking over to the desk in the corner Sam stares at the books piled high covering the surface. Damn books. Always waiting for someone to look and find nothing. Pushing himself up and swinging his legs over the side of the couch Sam keeps his eye's on the books. They should be in hell. He spots his laptop bag placed on the chair of the desk. Technology huh. The whole world travels on technology and what does it do? It fucks things up that what it does. Sam pushes himself up, grabbing the armrest to stop him falling back down. He waits until the room comes back into focus before taking slow steps towards the bag. His hand reaches out to the bag but he pulls it back before touching it. What good is it? It's just like him. Useless just something else for the world to hate.Sam snatches up the bag and opens the flap, pulling out the laptop. He throws the bag to the floor and holds the laptop in both hands. I don't need this...this heap of wasted metal. He raises it above his head and with all the force he can muster he throws the computer at the far wall. A small smirk comes to his face as he watches break. Small pieces flying in all directions. Laughter escapes from his lips as it lands on the floor with a thunk. Grabbing his hair with both hands he starts to laugh, the laughter of a broken man.**

**Dean sips at his coffee. His mind searching through ways to help Sam. He winces when he comes up blank, hits a brick wall. Slamming the cup down Dean pushes his chair back making it slam against the cupboard behind him.**

**" Dean?"**

**" Sorry Bobby." Dean blinks and grabs the chair placing it back at the table. God damit. What was he supposed to do. How can he help if his brain won't help him even get a clue. He looks up at Bobby. " I just..I can't get anything Bobby. My baby brothers in there." He aims a finger at the main room." broken and I feel like...I just don't know what to do." With glistening eye's Dean stares at Bobby." I need..need." His arm slides across his face to wipe away the falling tears.**

**Bobby bites his bottom lip and swallows that damn lump that reaching out to escape from his throat. Taking a quick look at his own coffee cup Bobby shakes his head before looking back up at Dean. " What do you need Dean?"**

**Dean's bottom lip quivers and he hates himself for becoming this weak. He wasn't supposed to be weak. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one that held all the answers. Hell he didn't have them half the time but he made sure he could help in some way, but what's happening now he didn't know where to go. Letting a small stream of tears travel down his cheeks Dean looks to the window at the side of the room. " I need Dad."**

**Bobby's throat threatens to burst. How can he give something that can't be given. How can he help the people he loves if he can't give them what they rightly deserves. Hope, faith, there dad? When they first arrived he held this piece of hope close to his heart. He could help them. He would help them. But watching Dean loose himself that hope has started to inch away minute by minute." I wish he was here for you too son. I truly do. But..." Bobby's head snaps to the doorway as the sound of a crash travels around the house. He looks up at Dean, before he has a chance to blink he's following Dean.**

**Stopping to a halt at the doorway Dean looks over at Sam. " Sam?"**

**Sam's hands are still gripped in his hair. His feet tracing a line along the carpeted floor. Sam? Yeah right. Sam's no longer here. No Sam here just me. The useless human. Stanford must have had a bad day when they accepted his application. A way bad day. He wasn't smart. He was a dud. Dud that's what he was. The smirk returns to his face letting out a laugh.**

**Dean looks around the room and spots the broken laptop on the floor. His eye's dart back to Sam. " Sam what happened?"**

**" It...it...didn't work." Sam carry's on his pacing." Didn't work."**

**Bobby closes his eye's. He can't watch this. How can he stand here and watch them crumble to dust.**

**Dean walks over to the broken laptop and squats down to run a hand along the open cracked glass." Sure as hell broken now." Hearing Sam's footsteps stop he turns his head." Sam what happened?"**

**Running his fingers along his lips Sam's head tilts back and he laughs. " Didn't work Dean." Sam looks back at Dean." All this." His arms come out to the side and he spins a full circle." Didn't work!" He pulls a book from the top of the pile on the desk. Opening the book and flicking through the pages Sam mumbles. " Crap crap crap crap." He holds the book up." See crap." He throws the book to the ground. He picks up the next one and waves it in the air." Same again. Crap!" The book flies and lands near Deans feet. "And this, and this and this." He throws books like they're paper aeroplanes.**

**Dean pushes himself and jumps out of the way as the books come flying." Sam what the..." He jumps back as more books come flying. He's brother was going mad. Throwing books that's what five year olds do in a tantrum. He dodges another book and looks back at Sam. " Sam stop it."**

**" Nothing." He throws the book behind him hitting agaisnt the wall and dropping to the floor. " Oh ho this one of my favourites." Sam grabs a large book with both hands and holds it up to face Dean." This book is fantastic. a big book Dean. A big fucking book and it's nothing!" Sam tosses it to the side." Oh look another waste of paper." He throws the next book.**

**" SAM!" Bobby's voice booms through the room." Stop it."**

**" Bobby Bobby Bobby." He throws another." Dear old Bobby. Got enough books to build a freaking library but they have nothing IN THEM!." He turns and glares at Bobby." Or do they." He takes a step forward watching Dean step closer from the corner of his eye. Why is he still here. Doesn't he have some place to go. Far away from him. Someplace safe. " Maybe you know." Sam stumbles over the books on the floor and heads to Bobby." Do you know where it is?"**

**Dean moves quickly and places an arm across Sam's chest, stopping him from getting close to Bobby." Calm down Sam."**

**Bobby raise a hand to stop Dean. Sam needs to do this. Let it out and if he was the target then he would be that target. If it would help them heal then he was going to do this." Do I know what?"**

**Sam's hands pull at Deans arm across his chest. " Know how to stop the deal. You would know and you're not telling me." He lets go of Dean's arm and reaches out to grab at Bobby." You know."**

**Dean steps around the back of Sam and pulls his arms back." Sam come on! Stop just stop." Dean grunts as Sam's elbow hits his stomach." Dammit Sam Stop."**

**Bobby steps froward and looks Sam dead in the eye." I don't know how to stop the deal Sam. I wish..." Bobby tilts his head back as Sam lashes out at him." I wish I did kid, I do but I don't."**

**" Stop fucking lying. Get off me." Sam struggles in Dean's grip. He slams his head back onto Deans shoulder." He knows and he's letting you go to hell." **

**Dean pulls his arms tighter around Sam." He doesn't know Sam." Dean pulls him back." Stop. Please just stop."**

**Bobby steps close to them and grabs Sam's head between his hands." Listen to me." His thumbs rub against Sam's cheeks." I swear to you I don't know how to stop it."**

**Sam raises his legs and kicks out at Bobby." Stop lying." His whole body is lifted of the ground. Why won't anyone tell him the truth. They know and they're not telling him. He kicks his legs out harder trying to hurt the man who won't tell him the truth. " Stop lying."**

**Dean swipes Sam's leg and drops them to the floor. He grips tighter as Sam struggles harder. " He's not lying Sam." Dean speaks the words through gritted teeth. " Stop kicking me." Dean places Sam between his legs, moving his head out of the way as Sam slams it back again. He wraps his legs over Sam's and pulls his arms across his chest." I swear to god stop IT!" **

**" I hate you!" Sam's snarl faces Bobby full on." I hate you!" He pulls agaisnt the restarning limbs holding him." You're a lying bastard and I hate you!" Sam starts to shake and small whimpers begin to escape. " I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."**

**Bobby kneels down infront of Sam and looks over his shoulder to Dean. That boy's gonna break in half soon. He refocuses on Sam." Sam?" He takes Sam's face in his hands again. " I don't know anything. But I swear to you I am trying. I am trying."**

**Tears run down Sam's face. " Why do you hate me so much?"**

**Dean eye's widen at the question. Why in the hell did his baby brother think that they hated him. He loved the kid. Sure he didn't say it but he never hated him." We don't hate you Sam." Dean tightens his grip as Sam struggles harder. He holds tight until Sam's body starts to slow down." Why on earth would you say that?"**

**Letting his body go limp Sam lets out a whimper." I can't help. I can't do it Dean. I'm going to lose you and It's my fault." Sam struggles again but stops when Dean's arms tighten." You're supposed to have all the answers." His eye's meet Bobby's." You're supposed to have the answers. " Letting all his energy go Sam tilts in Dean's arms." Please Bobby. Help me. Please. Help me save Dean. Please." His last words fading to whispers as he closes his eye's." You're all I have left to help me."**

**Dean lets go off Sam and turns him around into his lap. He pulls Sam's head into his chest and wraps his arms around Sam's body. Holding him like he did when Sam was a small child and scared of the thunder. He looks at Bobby, eye's pleading for him to fix this. To save not him but his brother. Not being able to suppress it any longer, Dean pulls Sam in tighter and cries for his baby brother.**

**...**

**I hope you enjoyed that chapter. **


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